Bad Online Daters

Is it bad that I’ve been waiting for some idiot to say something like this specifically so I could make a Hannibal Lecter reference?

okcdouchebags:

badonlinedaters:

It amuses me greatly when someone not only answers these questions wrong, but marks the correct answer as unacceptable.

"Wherefore" still means "why," folks. Just saying.

That glove thing threw me off but I think I added “It depends on the style of glove” because I happen to have a pair of knitted gloves on my desk and those’ll fit either hand no matter which way they are. Also I just don’t get why it would even matter. Is that a hidden intelligence test or something?

I had to think about that stupid glove question way longer than it deserves, and you’re right - I don’t even know why it matters. I’m far more interested in the questions that let me gauge how entitled or rapey a guy is. (But I kinda want to weed out people who don’t know the sun is bigger than the Earth, or wherefore means why. People who don’t know some of these things would drive me batshit crazy in real life.)

It amuses me greatly when someone not only answers these questions wrong, but marks the correct answer as unacceptable.

"Wherefore" still means "why," folks. Just saying.

okcdouchebags:

onlinedatingshenanigans:

If his example sentence had commas, it’d look like this: “Who, I wonder, will ask whom to go, where to eat what, and ask why we’re wondering which of who or whom is the right word to use when writing.”
Even with the commas, it’s still a poorly written run-on sentence.  It’s just a weird sentence, period. But I get it; he was trying to be helpful.  I just get so irritated when people correct me.  He’s not the first to do this.  I’ve had other guys try to explain how “easy” it is.  Because of those messages, I’ve since deleted the sentence on the profile that said “The most private thing I’m willing to admit: I still get who and whom confused.  Don’t tell my professors.”  

Semicolons. Everyone’s a scholar and will try to explain it, and end up making no sense.

It wasn’t until I was about 19 or 20 that I found a grammar blog that explained it so simply that I wondered why none of my teachers ever explained it like this. Reword the sentence, replacing “who” or “whom” with either “they” or “them.” If it makes sense to use “they,” then “who” is correct, and if it makes sense to use “them,” then “whom” is correct.
Shit. Definitely not trying to be like those “helpful” guys messaging you, sorry. I’ve just remembered it like that ever since. :/

okcdouchebags:

onlinedatingshenanigans:

If his example sentence had commas, it’d look like this: “Who, I wonder, will ask whom to go, where to eat what, and ask why we’re wondering which of who or whom is the right word to use when writing.”

Even with the commas, it’s still a poorly written run-on sentence.  It’s just a weird sentence, period. But I get it; he was trying to be helpful.  I just get so irritated when people correct me.  He’s not the first to do this.  I’ve had other guys try to explain how “easy” it is.  Because of those messages, I’ve since deleted the sentence on the profile that said “The most private thing I’m willing to admit: I still get who and whom confused.  Don’t tell my professors.”  

Semicolons. Everyone’s a scholar and will try to explain it, and end up making no sense.

It wasn’t until I was about 19 or 20 that I found a grammar blog that explained it so simply that I wondered why none of my teachers ever explained it like this. Reword the sentence, replacing “who” or “whom” with either “they” or “them.” If it makes sense to use “they,” then “who” is correct, and if it makes sense to use “them,” then “whom” is correct.

Shit. Definitely not trying to be like those “helpful” guys messaging you, sorry. I’ve just remembered it like that ever since. :/

102 years old. I mean, either he’s fucking around, or he’s legitimately too stupid to know his own year of birth.
Also, either he hasn’t answered any questions, or they’re all answered privately. I see this a lot, and it’s really annoying. I mean, if there’s a match percent, he has to have answered something, right?

102 years old. I mean, either he’s fucking around, or he’s legitimately too stupid to know his own year of birth.

Also, either he hasn’t answered any questions, or they’re all answered privately. I see this a lot, and it’s really annoying. I mean, if there’s a match percent, he has to have answered something, right?

okcdouchebags:

accumulatio-artemis:

And now it’s time for this summers OKCUPID HALL OF FAME!

These fine men have proved themselves to be true gentlemen! The cream of the crop of everyone’s favorite online dating website. Do enjoy them calling me fat, a slut, and more for saying no to wanting to get with them! Enjoy the age differences! And most of all, my responses!

**The last one is multiple pictures because this guy just could not help himself from teaching silly ol’ me a lesson! Wowza! I included his profile because to be completely honest I think he deserves it.

Happy okc adventures, all!

(For the books though I identify as non-binary but that’s not important to me exactly in the realm of okc, which allows for no such profile options, so it’s not mentioned on my profile. For all intents and purposes in this situation, I am a cis woman.)

Nice to see HollywoodLawyer is still a complete shitbag. He’s contacted me and three of my friends, attempted to fat-shame me and slut-shame my friends when we all said no. He is totally falling apart at the seams from not having women throwing themselves at him.

OMFG his profile says he’s good at compassion. I’m dying …

Honestly, the things men think impress us.
PS. You misspelled “millimeters”.

Honestly, the things men think impress us.

PS. You misspelled “millimeters”.

So, on March 20 he was 50 years old, and on July 22 he was 49?! Somebody call the newspapers, this guy’s learned how to age in reverse!
(This is taken from two separate profiles of mine, so I think the discrepancy in match % is because I haven’t answered enough of his questions to bring the percent back down on my new profile. I brought it down from 91% to 90% just by answering a few questions he’d answered. BRB, off to see how low I can take our match!)

So, on March 20 he was 50 years old, and on July 22 he was 49?! Somebody call the newspapers, this guy’s learned how to age in reverse!

(This is taken from two separate profiles of mine, so I think the discrepancy in match % is because I haven’t answered enough of his questions to bring the percent back down on my new profile. I brought it down from 91% to 90% just by answering a few questions he’d answered. BRB, off to see how low I can take our match!)

I really don’t know why he’s single, what with the stalking and creepin’ and all. Chicks dig stalkers.

Wait, dude, so are you telling me you don’t enjoy having a stranger refer to you by all sorts of unwanted, objectifying pet names? Okay, let that one sink in for a second, honeysnatch. I’ll wait.