Bad Online Daters

aaawunder:

whenever someone says “bi means two so *biphobe noises*.” i like to imagine them biting into a jellyfish and being remarkably surprised to find they are neither made of jelly nor fish

Wait, I thought bisexual meant I’m attracted to bicycles? … . Oh. Shit.

Actually, I do know what kik is. It’s the texting app that guys use to send us  lovely unsolicited dick pics, yeah? 

Actually, I do know what kik is. It’s the texting app that guys use to send us  lovely unsolicited dick pics, yeah? 

This just in: You can totally tell from a person’s picture if they’re a rapist and/or serial killer! Alert the media!

This just in: You can totally tell from a person’s picture if they’re a rapist and/or serial killer! Alert the media!

trendymermaid:

speedlimit15:

Holy shit wtf how are people just ignoring this?! This is a REAL PICTURE of an EXTRA TERRESTRIAL

i come in peace

Take me to your tuna.

trendymermaid:

speedlimit15:

Holy shit wtf how are people just ignoring this?! This is a REAL PICTURE of an EXTRA TERRESTRIAL

i come in peace

Take me to your tuna.

So, alienate and insult all the women who live in your area and look at your profile. Interesting strategy. The old “pre-negging negging” I take it.

So, alienate and insult all the women who live in your area and look at your profile. Interesting strategy. The old “pre-negging negging” I take it.

"Can I be your pinkie toe"? What in the name of all that is holy … ?

"Can I be your pinkie toe"? What in the name of all that is holy … ?

Okay, let’s forget the fact that messaging someone on a dating site and asking “do you need someone to talk to” is a weird first message, and just focus for a minute on the fact that we have a one hundred percent enemy rating! I’m a little scared by that. Like, I had no idea it could even go above 99%

Okay, let’s forget the fact that messaging someone on a dating site and asking “do you need someone to talk to” is a weird first message, and just focus for a minute on the fact that we have a one hundred percent enemy rating! I’m a little scared by that. Like, I had no idea it could even go above 99%

So, turns out Ted is kind of a prick. Surprise!

Real magic ceremonies.

Real magic ceremonies.

REAL. MAGIC. CEREMONIES.